Truth.

For the love of logic

So, I'm standing in Duane Reade debating between the oatmeal raisin cookies and the iced oatmeal cookies, and it's a dilemma because I know it would be good for me to have raisins in my diet, but then, icing is delicious.

Enter the nutrition label analysis. It turns out that the iced cookies have ten more calories per cookie than their raisin-infested neighbors, as well as an additional half gram of saturated fat.

It would seem that the oatmeal raisin cookies were the clear winners, but then I noticed that--don't ask me how--each iced oatmeal cookie contains a gram of fiber, while an oatmeal raisin cookie has none.

Fiber is so important! Almost important as sweet, sweet icing.

Decision: made.

Okay, I choose you. Now propose!

So I have to start out by saying I do not watch The Bachelorette and have barely ever seen The Bachelor. But I'm pretty sure I understand the premise of the show, which is to have one person cull a herd of the opposite sex and ultimately select a spouse.

Of course this franchise began with the man choosing from a harem, a concept that is cleverly manipulated by lauding the runner-up as a winner and giving her a reality dating show of her own. Three cheers for feminism; it's the woman who'll be calling the shots now.

Except. Apparently the conclusion to both shows ends the same: A man proposes. WTF? Doesn't flipping the whole "boy picks girl" schema on its head require the woman to ask for the man's hand in marriage? Or is it that improbable that a woman would take the lead in making such a lifechanging decision?

I mean, could you imagine if on the season finale of The Bachelor, the guy expected the woman to propose?

"Okay, Cheryl, this is it. I sent away all the others, and you are the most special person in the whole world/on this show. You win."

"Ohmigod Gene, I am so happy! I'm so glad I won this contest....So..."

"So, now is the part where you ask me to marry you."

"But--"

"Yes, that's right, I'm allowing you to propose."

You know, I'm pretty traditional when it comes to dating--I don't think it helps anyone for the woman to take too much of a lead. But if you're going to make the premise of your plotline that the lady is in charge, make her say the tough stuff. To let her pass off popping the question to her intended is weak.

Muppets + NYC = Masterpiece

So, I wanted to put on a movie that I could easily ignore while I did some light sewing and my nails. Which is why, even though I've been meaning to see Brokeback Mountain again, it didn't make the cut. The Muppets Take Manhattan, however, seemed like just the thing.

And indeed it was....and so much more. Simple, charming, and utterly unbelievable, it was a delight to sort-of watch. Highlights include:

* A shockingly young Joan Rivers giving Miss Piggy a makeover that gets so out of control, both are fired from their department store jobs.

* A flashback to the Muppets' infancies, which I recently learned was the origination of the cartoon Muppet Babies, which I watched all. the. time. as a kid. It was a real hoot to see the animated characters I'm so familiar with portrayed as puppets, esp. since I hardly know the Muppets in any context aside from the cartoon.

* Realizing that the guy who decides to put Kermit's musical on Broadway is the same guy fromDirty Dancing who informs Baby that "sometimes, in this world, you see things you don't wanna see." And while he was great in that movie, he was born for the role of Muppet musical producer.

* And finally, the way Kermit just rolls with the punches when, after getting hit by a car, accepting the fact that he has amnesia, and establishing a successful career as an advertising exec, he is kidnapped by a bunch of animals, including a fat pig who punches him hard enough to make him remember who he is, and THEN, instantly accepts the fact that it's opening night of the Broadway show he hasn't rehearsed for, AND during the performance Miss Piggy tricks him into exchanging actual wedding vows....and he goes for it. The frog's a downright inspiration.

This concludes my only partly sarcastic rave review of The Muppets Take Manhattan.

Tis the season for sweet red goodness

So, if you didn't know, I adore bell peppers. Specifically red ones. But for as long as I can remember (aka at least the last six months, though it feels longer) they've been outrageously priced--as in $4.99 a pound or more. For me, that sets them squarely off the shopping list.

BUT. Tonight on my way home I saw a miracle. The produce stand outside the grocery store had an avalanche of beautiful red bells, at an astonishing $1.69 a pound. I didn't need groceries, my tote bag was heavy as hell, and I was in dire need of a post-Bikram shower. But you better believe I stopped right then and there and loaded up on my favorite veggies.

Since I'm hoping the good fortune lasts and I never know where I'm eating next, I didn't want to go overboard, but still, I got three sizable, beautiful, deep red bell peppers for less than two dollars. WOW.

And then as soon as I got home and cleaned them, I ripped out the core of one and ate it like an apple. Since I'm usually splurging to buy a single pepper and thus carefully slice it for multiple uses, scarfing it down with abandon was a delicious new luxury for me. And I loved it. Proof positive that it really is the little things in life that matter.

Organizer for America: that's me!

I made some phone calls before the 2008 election. It was the first time I'd volunteered to do anything remotely political, but I'd known about Barack Obama since 2003 and knew I wanted him as my president, so it was important to me to take action.

I still feel I could have done more--much more--but he got elected and I got a reprieve...enough other people worked hard enough to cover my relative inaction. But this time, for the 2010 elections, I feel it is I who needs to work hard to cover the inaction of others. Because I don't think enough people realize how important the midterm elections are this year. I know I didn't until very recently.

But on Thursday night I want to a political pep rally where I heard the director of Organizing For America (OFA) talk about how we won in 2008. It turns out that 70 percent of first-time and under-30 voters went for Obama, so that's the group we need to reactivate for 2010. If those same people get to the polls, similar results are likely. It's so important that Democrats keep their seats in the House and Senate. I don't consider myself partisan, but I'm Democrat by default because I know that Republicans are willfully and stubbornly blocking the progress of the President's agenda, and that disturbs me greatly.

All Americans should care about our country, and policies that help everyone shouldn't be blocked on partisan principle. So much is happening right now with legislation...it almost seems like magic, since much of it happens quietly and without press fanfare. But it's happening:Flavored cigarettes are now illegal. (And as an ex-smoker who started at fifteen, I truly appreciate the significance of this.) Women are now legally guaranteed equal pay for equal work. By cutting out banks as middlemen in the federal loan system, $61 billion has been reallocated for education. And now, if I incur outrageous credit card fees, it won't be because I wasn't warned.

And none of the above achievements are even part of health care or financial reform--the two issues the media covers most. WE PASSED HEALTH CARE!

But Republicans want to repeal it. Why, I truly don't understand. It's not like only Democrats no longer get denied health insurance if they have pre-existing conditions. It's not like Republicans won't also benefit from the millions--millions!--our country will save in the long run. It's not like Republicans don't have kids under age 26 who need their parents' coverage. But while I don't get why people want to erase this historic feat, I know I'm not going to sit by idly and let them.

So today I pounded the pavement as part of the Organizing for America Vote 2010 National Kickoff. I asked strangers, again and again, if they were registered to vote, and if they were planning to vote in November. I helped four people register and gave forms to another two, and got six people to sign up for emails that will keep them informed and give them future opportunities to make a difference. Not bad for two hours work, though I am completely exhausted from the effort.

But, tired as I am, and despite all the other things I could/should have done with my time, I'm proud of my actions. I like knowing the President would be proud too. It was the American people who got him elected, and it's going to be the American people who give him a helpful legislative body or an unproductive one. I'm committed to working for the former.

Flying on adrenaline

First of all, Delta can suck it. Next, United, though the jury is still out on them. Finally, Southwest is the best. (And American Express gets points as well.)

My airline preferences tend to fluctuate based on which carrier has screwed me over the most recently, hence the previous ranking.

A dear friend's bridal shower and bachelorette party were in Chicago last weekend, and even if I weren't a bridesmaid I'd want to be there. But since I am a bridesmaid, attendance shifted from desirable to compulsory.

Which is why it was so bad that I missed my flight. Now, Delta will be the first to tell you that it was my fault. I'll be the last, but I'll tell you anyway: It was my fault. Technically. I mean, it was me who assumed that when the bus driver said, "This is the Delta terminal," I had arrived at the correct terminal for my Delta flight. LaGuardia is not a large airport—in fact, most carriers share one central terminal. So the fact that Delta has its own terminal supports the assumption that any flight even remotely related to them would leave from that specialized terminal.

But no. No, after the 30 minutes it took to get through security at the Delta terminal, I learned that my Delta flight would be leaving in 20 minutes from a different place. A terminal there was no chance in hell I could travel to in time. I learned this after unsuccessfully trying to get the assistance of no fewer than three Delta employees, when out of desperation I picked up a help phone. It turns out that Jimmy, while very tolerant of my tear-choked protests, was not very helpful. He told me I'd be on the next flight. He lied.

Of course I didn't figure that out until two hours later, after another round of security, when I realized my boarding pass did not feature a seating assignment. Never a good sign. As it turned out, Delta had oversold all of their flights, and since (to paraphrase the rudest gate agent ever) it was my own damn fault I missed my original flight, I was lower than shit on the standby totem, and I shouldn't harbor any hope of getting out of New York before 5 p.m.....the next day.

Whaaaa? By 5 p.m. the next day the shower would be over and done, not to mention half my holiday weekend. I wish I could say I handled the predicament well, but that would be a total lie. Fortunately my dear friend took the dilemma in stride, and within minutes she had me calling United, whose available flights she'd located online.

Well. United wasn't downright rude like Delta, but it was a little challenging to overcome the accent of the man I spoke with, which causes me to suspect that they outsource their customer service. (I have no idea if this is true, but I don't like the idea.) At any rate, I had just about agreed to take a huge financial hit and pay $403.70 for a one-way ticket to Chicago when my dear friend beeped in. She'd found a comparable flight from Southwest that totaled just under $300. I all but hung up on the United agent, who told me that although he had already ran my credit card, he'd reverse the charges.

My Southwest flight was delayed, but through no fault of theirs, so—after a third round of security—I just focused on being grateful to get the hell off the island without paying quite as much through the nose. And it really did help that Southwest agents are some of the most pleasant and cheerful people in an airport. Especially the gate agent who magically transformed my standby status into a bona fide seat so that I flew out at 7:30 p.m. instead of 9 p.m....just a mere seven hours after my original flight left without me! But whatever. Once I finally got on a Chicago-bound plane, I vowed to put the whole airport nightmare behind me.

So I tried not to worry when I noticed an email confirmation from United later that weekend. I tried not to worry when I saw charges on my credit card that continued to say "pending" instead of disappearing. But when I got my statement today and the charges had gone through? I worried. I worried myself into a fury.

Fortunately I was able to stay calm enough not to verbally abuse the United customer service agent, and in return she told me my "refund" was being processed and that it could take up to a month. And that if I wanted a full refund, I'd have to send an email explaining my situation.

More fortunately, when I called American Express to discuss contesting the charges, the woman I spoke to was incredibly awesome. (Not that she'll ever see this, but, Andrea Moffett of Atlanta, GA, you're the best!) She suggested I wait to contest the charges since she felt confident United would pay up. But I balked. I didn't want to pay an extra $400 because of United's mistake, nor did I want to be charged interest for refusing to pay. So Andrea, bless her, agreed to waive the interest that will accrue after I deliberately ignore the portion of my balance that United is responsible for.

Gotta love how adrenaline can take you from anger to relieved exhilaration in seconds.