Flying on adrenaline

First of all, Delta can suck it. Next, United, though the jury is still out on them. Finally, Southwest is the best. (And American Express gets points as well.)

My airline preferences tend to fluctuate based on which carrier has screwed me over the most recently, hence the previous ranking.

A dear friend's bridal shower and bachelorette party were in Chicago last weekend, and even if I weren't a bridesmaid I'd want to be there. But since I am a bridesmaid, attendance shifted from desirable to compulsory.

Which is why it was so bad that I missed my flight. Now, Delta will be the first to tell you that it was my fault. I'll be the last, but I'll tell you anyway: It was my fault. Technically. I mean, it was me who assumed that when the bus driver said, "This is the Delta terminal," I had arrived at the correct terminal for my Delta flight. LaGuardia is not a large airport—in fact, most carriers share one central terminal. So the fact that Delta has its own terminal supports the assumption that any flight even remotely related to them would leave from that specialized terminal.

But no. No, after the 30 minutes it took to get through security at the Delta terminal, I learned that my Delta flight would be leaving in 20 minutes from a different place. A terminal there was no chance in hell I could travel to in time. I learned this after unsuccessfully trying to get the assistance of no fewer than three Delta employees, when out of desperation I picked up a help phone. It turns out that Jimmy, while very tolerant of my tear-choked protests, was not very helpful. He told me I'd be on the next flight. He lied.

Of course I didn't figure that out until two hours later, after another round of security, when I realized my boarding pass did not feature a seating assignment. Never a good sign. As it turned out, Delta had oversold all of their flights, and since (to paraphrase the rudest gate agent ever) it was my own damn fault I missed my original flight, I was lower than shit on the standby totem, and I shouldn't harbor any hope of getting out of New York before 5 p.m.....the next day.

Whaaaa? By 5 p.m. the next day the shower would be over and done, not to mention half my holiday weekend. I wish I could say I handled the predicament well, but that would be a total lie. Fortunately my dear friend took the dilemma in stride, and within minutes she had me calling United, whose available flights she'd located online.

Well. United wasn't downright rude like Delta, but it was a little challenging to overcome the accent of the man I spoke with, which causes me to suspect that they outsource their customer service. (I have no idea if this is true, but I don't like the idea.) At any rate, I had just about agreed to take a huge financial hit and pay $403.70 for a one-way ticket to Chicago when my dear friend beeped in. She'd found a comparable flight from Southwest that totaled just under $300. I all but hung up on the United agent, who told me that although he had already ran my credit card, he'd reverse the charges.

My Southwest flight was delayed, but through no fault of theirs, so—after a third round of security—I just focused on being grateful to get the hell off the island without paying quite as much through the nose. And it really did help that Southwest agents are some of the most pleasant and cheerful people in an airport. Especially the gate agent who magically transformed my standby status into a bona fide seat so that I flew out at 7:30 p.m. instead of 9 p.m....just a mere seven hours after my original flight left without me! But whatever. Once I finally got on a Chicago-bound plane, I vowed to put the whole airport nightmare behind me.

So I tried not to worry when I noticed an email confirmation from United later that weekend. I tried not to worry when I saw charges on my credit card that continued to say "pending" instead of disappearing. But when I got my statement today and the charges had gone through? I worried. I worried myself into a fury.

Fortunately I was able to stay calm enough not to verbally abuse the United customer service agent, and in return she told me my "refund" was being processed and that it could take up to a month. And that if I wanted a full refund, I'd have to send an email explaining my situation.

More fortunately, when I called American Express to discuss contesting the charges, the woman I spoke to was incredibly awesome. (Not that she'll ever see this, but, Andrea Moffett of Atlanta, GA, you're the best!) She suggested I wait to contest the charges since she felt confident United would pay up. But I balked. I didn't want to pay an extra $400 because of United's mistake, nor did I want to be charged interest for refusing to pay. So Andrea, bless her, agreed to waive the interest that will accrue after I deliberately ignore the portion of my balance that United is responsible for.

Gotta love how adrenaline can take you from anger to relieved exhilaration in seconds.