Loco for loko

My first awareness of a certain beverage whose name is so cleverly punned in the title of this entry came about via facebook: a facebook invite, to be exact.

You see, my friends in Williamsburg are having a Four Loko party in a couple of weeks, in an ironic effort to get sincerely wasted. Like so many facebook experiences, the information sloshed into my brain and promptly seeped into my subconscious, so that when I saw an abandoned can of Four Loko atop a bookcase at a recent party, it looked familiar. Then I noticed it in 7-11, and then glimpsed it in a news story promo while attempting to skip some commercials.

Before long all the media was trumpeting the dangers of this drink, which on first blush I find shockingly ingenius. I mean, it's a terrible idea, and that should be obvious to everyone--except to all the drinkers who LOVE IT.

It's a marketing gem. I can't deny it, but I also have no desire to try it. None. Zero.

In college, however--and even a few years after, I'll admit--I would have very much appreciated this economical pre-game in a can. Even now, were I inclined to get smashed and hit the town, I'd find 23.5 FL OZ. (1 PT 7.5 OZ) of alcoholic red bull an efficient if not appealing option.

So I get why it's popular.

But it's also dangerous, and I'm not convinced underage drinkers or even a good deal of legal alcoholics are capable of monitoring the consumption of a beverage that by all appearances is nothing but fun.

It's not really fair, but the truth is that this stuff can easily (and surely does) end up at high school and college parties, where it is no doubt abused. And yes, alcohol poisoning is always a possibility in the presence of binge drinking. I've witnessed--hell, experienced--some scary stuff related to alcohol overdose, even when the beverages didn't taste like bubble gum cough syrup. But when you introduce a substance with up to four times the potency of associated liquids (beer, wine coolers, Zima with a jolly rancher) but with no significant change in taste, you are putting drinkers in danger. They'll misjudge their limits with potentially fatal results, and they'll do it more often than if they were taking shots because Four Loko contains caffeine, which inhibits the brains ability to discern intoxication.

It's a blackout in a can and you've got to be at least a little crazy to try it. But teenagers and college students and plenty of legal drinkers are exactly a little crazy if not moreso. So if this drink is going to stay on the market, the public needs to be thoroughly educated on the contents of these playfully camouflaged hangovers.